Evan Christian and his wife Katherine Allsopp-Smith are the proud parents of three children. They have busy careers – and are the founders of Age School in Takapuna. While most parents search around for the right school for their children, it’s a rare couple that goes to the extent of founding a school. But Evan is a self-described “entrepreneur and investor with a passion for building and investing in businesses that make a positive difference in the world”.
Ahead of Fathers’ Day in September, Christine Young asked Evan a few questions about their reasons for founding the school, and about his parenting style. He takes up the story of Age School’s genesis:
“Kath and I had an incredibly rewarding experience with Safe Kids in 2016 helping to fund and raise awareness of the charity’s Driveway Safety campaign. After being involved in such a great cause we started thinking about what more we could do to give back to the community.
“During this time we were also looking around for a school for our four-year-old son. Nothing we saw gave us the confidence that his experience would be any better than our own experiences at school. Both Kath and I had academic success but neither of us enjoyed our school years because our respective schools didn’t cater to our passions and interests. We believe childhood should be happy and joyous, not boring and tedious. As an aunt and uncle to 11 nieces and nephews we have often seen them struggle with motivation and disengage from the schooling process. This gave us further incentive to search for an alternative.
“We investigated numerous public and private schools, but they all seemed similar, with a narrow focus on academic results and sports. They all missed catering to the whole child. Kath and I both felt they were all large, impersonal and disconnected, and it would be too easy for our son to become lost in the system.
“We are extensive travellers and had experienced and researched other models of schooling including Blue School in New York, Green School Bali, and Ad Astra to name a few. They provided examples of education being reimagined. Our Blue School visit was especially rewarding – this became the inspiration for much of Age.
“We considered the idea of creating a learning environment that had a focus on EQ as well as IQ, which made learning fun and interesting and followed the children’s passions. We wanted a place where children got up in the morning excited to attend, a place that was small and felt residential rather than industrial like the large schools. We started some initial qualitative research among our wider network and found other families in our predicament so we plunged in and hired a team of educationalists to help bring the idea to life.”
Age School opened in January 2018; it has now unveiled plans for a new Takapuna-based campus, and Evan says they are are thrilled with the early success of the school.
Evan has a university degree in Psychology yet somehow was drawn to the world of business. Over recent years he has woven his love of the humanities back into his business ventures. “I now love being involved in ventures that not only are financially successful, he says, “but also help make the world a better place. Age School is an example of that. The next generation has a huge need for ethical leaders who can take leadership on issues such as innovation, technology and wellbeing for people and the planet. Seeing the growth in our students is a huge reward that motivates my wife and I to do more.”
He is not only co-founder and director of Age School, but CEO at Wilshire Investments, a private investment company, a director of Wilshire Property Group, a commercial property investment company, and a director and shareholder of G3 Group.
When asked how he juggles his career and Age School commitments with his role as a father, he says that being self-employed gives him the flexibility to put the needs of his young family first and then fit his work commitments around “what’s left of the week”.
Being a hands-on father, he adds, “is the toughest assignment I have ever had”. Despite this, he loves spending time with his three children, “so my schedule has me spending four days with the family leaving me three days for work and personal commitments. On those three days I get to the gym or yoga studio for exercise and also set aside time to catch up with friends. It’s a juggle but I know that to be the best parent possible I need to maintain a work/family/personal balance.”
Evan describes his parenting style as “very hands on. Humans belong to the primate species. Primates learn by copying, which is where the term “monkey see monkey do” came from. Expecting my kids to do as I say rather than as I do would make for a rough ride in the family. I realised early on that if I wanted my children to succeed in all aspects of life then I needed to get my own house in order fast.
“I believe it’s important as parents to be aware of what we’re modelling through our responses to our children. We all seem to have forgotten that discipline really means to teach, not to punish. A disciple is a student, not a recipient of behavioural consequences.
“As children develop, their brains mirror their parent's brain. As we become more aware and emotionally healthy, our children reap the rewards and move toward health as well.”
“There is a huge amount of research,” he adds, “from the field of neuroscience that the traditional parenting approach, which focuses on the child’s behaviour in isolation using punishment and rewards as a strategy for modifying behaviour, limits the child’s ability to thrive in the long term. The research has shown that although using punishments, rewards or threats may work in the short term, they come at the cost of emotional health in the long term. Fear sends issues underground only to reappear at a later date with many different faces such as anxiety, suicide and depression.
“In our home we use a non-punitive connection-based parenting approach. Adopting a punishment-free approach is a key factor in establishing relationships that are based on trust and mutual respect to create a healthy team spirit in the family. This fosters more willing cooperation, integrity and self-discipline in children as opposed to fear-based obedience. At its core is the recognition that to bring about long-lasting positive change, we need to gain a better understanding of what our children need for their growth and development.
“My own childhood was very modest and one of my big struggles now is the desire to spoil my own children with all those things we couldn’t afford. My wife keeps me in check and has the kids working on chores to make pocket money for their own spending.
“We do our best to minimise screen time and keep the kids busy with lots of activities. We find the more they are out and about the happier they are. We schedule in lots of outdoor time such as boating, surfing, skiing, hiking, biking, beach, etc. “
As in most families, Evan’s children have taught him “Patience and how to operate on not much sleep!”
Apart from that, he advises, before the new arrival, “Enjoy your last few days of singledom because a tsunami is about to hit your life. Once you have had the celebration, realise what an incredible gift you have been given. Children are so incredibly precious and we all only get one chance at parenting them.
“Don’t parent on auto pilot. Read up on all the latest research so you become a champion for your kids. The investment in your own emotional wellbeing and that of your children’s is so much more valuable and long-lasting than any investment in the bank.
“Secondly, carve some time out for yourself and focus on the good things in your life. I try each day to do something that makes me happy. If I am happy my kids get to have a happy Dad.”
At the same time, don’t expect everything to be perfect. “Tough times come to everyone, no matter who you are. For your family’s sake try to turn them into opportunities. Last year we Lost our home to a house fire. We escaped in the middle of the night and watched our home burn. We lost everything. The family really struggled with the loss. Rather than dwell on the loss we decided to turn it into an opportunity. We booked a world trip for six months using the contents insurance money payout. We figured that six months of adventure would be much better than a new couch. The kids all put up their dream locations and we had a blast.”
