The other week I was with my friend on the Gold Coast. He sells where dreams are made, but others would call him a real estate agent. While we’re having a coffee I observed him working and he apologised as he wanted to be my host but said “I’ve got to win this vendor”. I said mate, you might not know but I’m in this position every day with clients comparing me with other speakers, looking for the best return on their investment similarly as they are with you.

He was looking to drop his commission but making sacrifices to beat the competition is the last thing to do. You are better to look for opportunities to promote your awesomeness and in this moment your awesomeness is your ability to connect. I shared what I did to win speaking gigs, we adapted things that he could do to win listings, and by the end of the day he was the agent to sell the property.

The above situation is not my sales pitch for me to be your mentor, your coach, your guru. But it did get me thinking about how we build connection, rapport and friendship in whatever we do, whoever we are. I believe they can help with all types of relationships, reduce bullying and promote awesomeness.

Look to connect with others through creating an experience far before changing your values. Actually make the ability to create an experience your number one value.

Showcase what makes you similar. As a kid with cerebral palsy I believe the reason I was never bullied at primary school is because I’d let people know that I liked the same things as them.

Step outside your comfort zone to create the comfort zone. This can feel risky but often this is when we show the real us, people who don’t see it for what it is are missing out.

Do what’s different. Often the process of coming up with this can lead towards our biggest strengths, our point of difference, a bit like the kid at school with dreadlocks.

So what does creating an experience look like? It looks like answering questions before they are asked. It looks like making a positive judgement on the situation and creating a positive association. It’s about knowing that the text book theory can be read by anyone but through heart, humility and honour true connection is made… and we get here through zero assumption.

Connection with people through whatever we do, whoever we are, is the most important part of our day of which we show the truest appreciation for when we are with the people we love. But it’s people who briefly pop into our lives that can have an unforgettable impact. We just need to be open to the reality it’s not what we do that’s important, but how we make people feel... with commitment to this, anything is possible!!!